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I’m up to my adorable fedora in finals right now, so I hereby open up a call for submissions for anyone who wants to guest post here (our first!) regarding Christie Blatchford’s asinine, homophobic (but she loves gays! Really! She just hates “feys”), femme-hating screed in the National Post (little boys hugging is the end of masculinity and therefore civilization! next week: kittens playing with yarn and why they enrage me so!), which I won’t link to but which I’m sure you can find.

Comment here if you’re ready to read her beads!


1) Miscellaneous blog fact: today someone found my blog using the search term “effeminate man long hair -jesus -christ”. I find this inexplicably charming.

2) Miscellaneous vlog command: please give this vlogger lots of traffic for having linked to me under the heading “blog of awesome.” Thank you. Here is one of the entries from this vlog, containing a lovely shout out to my article The joy of the windsor knot:

Happy equinox, gendernauts!

The new post I’m gestating (it’ll be about how femininity is equated with artificiality) has been delayed for a bit (ETA: Here it is!); I’ve just gotten a sweet new job without giving up the old one, so I think it’ll be a little while before I work up the mental energy to finish it, and I really should give Julia Serano a reread first.

In the meantime, I will buy time by shamelessly recycling existing material. For those of you who enjoyed my post on body image and the effeminate guy — apparently it’s received the most hits of any of my posts to date — I felt I should highlight a really interesting comment that was left on it. Commenter enoch said [paragraph divisions added]:

As a transmasculine person, I have some trouble keeping my femme identity visible to people who do not understand the full range of femme possibility.

Interestingly enough, I’ve found the that more masculine I make my body appear, the easier it is to layer the trappings of male femininity on top of. Now, this may be because, as a female-assigned person, I will look like a small, youthful man for much longer than my male-assigned counterparts, but I don’t think I’m frequently read as a twink (there are a few creepy old men who sit around in the garden of my local LGBT center who certainly look at me that way, but pretty much no one else).

Still, I am presented with the challenge of making my body masculine enough that I will be interpreted as a femme guy rather than a butch woman. I think that people who understand that transfolk have as much variety of presentation as cisfolk generally recognize my femme identity quite quickly.

Perhaps instead of looking for cues among femme women, you can look for cues among femme transpeople, some of us have learned how to combine masculine appearance with femme identity in innovative ways you might not have considered.

This is a really interesting point, and one I’d never considered! Props to enoch for bringing it up.

I see from my magical WordPress stats page that a lot of people are coming in from various Tumblr blogs. Hope you enjoy your visit and leave lots of comments!

I’ve just added a page (List of Articles) that compiles all of the longer articles I’ve written (as opposed to oddments and flotsam like the present post), so that might be an enjoyable starting point.

Holy crap, I’ve been sick for the last three weeks and I come back here and suddenly people are reading my blog! Four hundred hits in a day! More than a thousand this month! Zomg! *sweatdrop*

I can only apologize abjectly to you (especially those of you who made the three weeks’ worth of comments I just approved all at once) and hope you’ll keep reading.

While I prepare some upcoming blockbusters on body image and other things, here’s a quote from a recent issue of Toronto’s Pink Play, timely given the hockey fever that has taken over this city:

“Sports enthusiasts are nerds too!” says Jaime Woo, writer/activist and co-creator of the videogame conference GamerCamp. “Look at all the stats they know and their fantasy pools with all their imaginary match-ups—‘What if the Pittsburgh team of ‘72 was up against the Atlanta team of ‘85?’”

When he says it like that, it does sound pretty geeky. “What are the big battle scenes in Lord of the Rings”, he insists, but “just a heightened version of football?”

But he’s playing with fire here—football is sacred in a way that Dungeons and Dragons is not. In a culture (straight and gay) that prizes a confident masculinity above all else, anyone feminine or introverted or unathletic or otherwise falling short of that ideal gets marginalized—even if the fantasies they love correspond with it.

Welcome to my fabulous new blog about femme guys! (Because, like everyone else, I desperately needed more reasons to spend time on the computer.)

I have noticed over the last little while (by which I mean, like, ten years) a distinct lack of internet resources targeting the community of femme guys. Believe me, I’ve looked. The most I’ve ever managed to find is one or two laudatory mentions in a few blogs, one or two Facebook and Livejournal communities, and a whole lot of hate.

And yet it’s not like there’s any lack of us. You can’t turn around in queer men’s spaces without walking right into a profusion of non-traditionally-masculine-presenting fellows. But you’d never notice it – our whole existence is silenced, denied, and (paradoxically) vigorously shouted down. A galaxy of kinks, fetishes, and types of every kind are catered to (so much the better!), but femme boys are nowhere to be found among them. (And yet someone must be having sex with us, considering how much of it we have.)

So this is a blog about men, boys, and other male-identified folks of all varieties, embodiments, karyotypes, and histories who are femme, feminine, effeminate, non-masculine, faggy, nancy, sissy, faerie, limp-wristed, limp-fisted, genderqueer, gender enhanced, and gender euphoric – anything but gender-normative.

A few issues to clear up: I’m firmly committed to having this be a space that is anti-oppressive on all fronts. (Please see the Comments Policy.) Conversely, I am trying to stay aware of the privilege I experience as a white, cissexual male Anglophone of middle-class origins living in Canada. Should I express myself in a way that is oppressive, I would appreciate being called on it.

Also, generally in this blog I’ll be referring, for simplicity’s sake, to “non-masculine men” or “femme men” as a way of expressing the big long list from two paragraphs ago. I do apologize to those who may find that what I have to say applies to them, but do not identify in this way, and who might find it alienating.

So you have some idea of where I’m coming from: I’m a late-twenties Canadian, living in Montreal. I’ve been out as a gay man and as non-masculine since age 16, and have been using the words femme and genderqueer since about age 21. I’m an eclectic Pagan (mostly Reclaiming/Radical Faerie) by religion.

And now, on to the femmeness. We will conclude today’s entry with one of the brightest femme boy stars on the horizon at present, singing what is one of this blog’s many possible theme songs:


July 2018
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