gender fierce anthem

Thought I’d share with you this rocking original song by sassy femme boy delisubthefemmecub! It’s getting rave reviews on Tumblr.

 

I’m a boot-wearin femme and a glitter-packin bear and I’m
just the kind of man that’ll make you stare cause my
wit is vicious and my cookin is delicious and I’m
not even sorry that you’re missin out on all of this cause
you couldn’t handle this, I’m too hot for your britches and I
know I blow your mind just by existin and I
devour your little binaries like it was nothing
gimme more I’m still hungry and

I, I, I, I spy you with your scientist eyes all
trying to pin me down but I’m
too big for your boxes too mythical for your books and I
hear your dirty looks and I see your whispers sayin
these hips too wide and this voice too high for a guy
try me, test me, go ahead and keep on talkin shit if you wanna see an angry fuckin
fairy

and sometimes, people surprise you

From a beloved friend of this blog:

I spent about 15 minutes putting on makeup after my shower this morning. Because I’ve been sick for over two months, some of which was spent only able to get from bed to chair and most of which which was spent not being able to walk further than the pharmacy on the corner, because I felt grotty and tired, because I have a turquoise t-shirt with a squid on it and that is awesome, because I need a haircut SO BADLY, because I spent time last night sorting out all my makeup and how it’s stored, because I wanted to.

And I was scared, going out. I always am. On the “being a bloke wearing makeup” front, and because of the possibility that it’d get me misread as female. [...] It felt like with one eye I could see what I wanted to see, and with the other all I could see was acne scars and prednisone rash and double chin and out-of-control hair and so on. Too old and pudgy to be the pretty-androgynous-boy-in-makeup, too short and ambiguous (and pudgy) to be the unquestionably-male-bearded-dude-in-makeup.

I felt sick and anxious.  But fuck it, I needed my Red Bull.  Do not get between me and caffeine.  And I also felt happy at the same time, because I like playing with shiny things, pretty colours, changing my appearance.  I like, finally, after a lifetime of hate and ambiguity towards it, wearing makeup.

And my squid shirt was pretty rad.

So I went out.

Read the rest: ManUp Makeup: And sometimes, people surprise you

quote of the week 13

When someone with the authority of a teacher, say, describes the world and you are not in it, there is a moment of psychic disequilibrium, as if you looked into a mirror and saw nothing.

– Adrienne Rich

This is relevant to my current situation.

a lot has been going on, part ii

I think my biggest problem is being young and beautiful. It’s my biggest problem because I’ve never been young and beautiful. Oh, I’ve been beautiful, and God knows I’ve been young, but never the twain have met.
– Arnold (Harvey Fierstein), Torch Song Trilogy

I suppose the other big thing that’s happening in my life is that I’m about to turn thirty. It’s funny — in a community that privileges youth and beauty so much, I feel very good about turning thirty.

In comparison, I was scared shitless of turning 25 — I felt my shelf life was expiring, that I was never going to find a boyfriend, etc., etc.

a lot has been going on

since the last time I got it together to post. I do apologize for this. However, one part of the journey has been learning that, despite my trying to deny it for many years, browbeating myself to do ‘better,’ and desperately hoping for some kind of medical solution, I’ve simply got lower energy than other people — whatever the cause may be — and can’t always accomplish everything I set out to do. Especially since my life has been much busier than heretofore over the last month or so. And this is okay.

I’ve started a new academic career, in a field related to gender and sexual orientation. Much to my chagrin, many of the professors are coming at it from a place of a huge amount of unexamined straight and cis privilege and centrism, that really keeps them from perceiving a big part of their field.

It’s very frustrating.